Trauma is an inescapable part of the human experience, and its impact can manifest in various forms. There are traumas that are thrust upon us, events and circumstances beyond our control that leave lasting imprints on our lives. Conversely, there are also instances where we inadvertently inflict trauma upon ourselves through our actions and choices. Both types of trauma can have profound effects on our well-being, and understanding their dynamics is crucial to our healing journey.

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Often, we find ourselves confronting a closet full of skeletons—unresolved traumas that we carry with us, consciously or unconsciously. The question then arises: are we genuinely addressing and resolving these traumas, or are we merely adding more to the collection, shutting the door as quickly as possible? It seems we have become preoccupied with locking away these skeletons, guarding them from everyone, and even ourselves.

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Emotional stress left unresolved festers within us, transforming unavoidable trauma into self-inflicted wounds. We may spend our entire lives evading the painful process of facing these traumas head-on. Consequently, the stress induced by these unresolved traumas causes us to react based on our past selves rather than our present selves. We might be older now, but our younger, wounded self emerges, ill-equipped to handle present challenges due to a lack of healing. To move forward, we must allow our healing selves to confront our present, not tethered to our past.

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Revisiting our past selves during times of trauma can be a profound step toward healing. Sometimes, all our younger selves need is someone to lend an ear and listen to their stories, their pain. By avoiding them, we deny an integral part of ourselves and display a lack of care. Integrating all our past selves, aligning the chapters of our lives, is key to becoming whole.

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By embracing this integration, we can free ourselves from the clutches of trauma, enabling us to live our best lives unencumbered by its interference. It is not about eradicating these traumas entirely; they will always be a part of who we are. Instead, it is about finding peace with them and everyone involved. It is about honing our ability to read and react to these traumas in the best possible way, forging a path forward with empathy.

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This journey allows us to confront situations reminiscent of past traumas and make conscious choices to handle them differently. The sense of appreciation that accompanies this growth is profound. It excites us to continue on the lifelong adventure of self-discovery, becoming better versions of ourselves.

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This is why aging can be an extraordinary process. With time, we gain understanding—both of ourselves and the world around us. In our youth, we grapple with problems and events for which we lack answers. We take random guesses, hoping for the best. Often, those guesses prove incorrect. Some are fortunate to have guiding figures in their lives, while others navigate blindly.

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However, as we mature, we find answers through experience and the mistakes we've made. Looking back, we realize the alternative paths we could have taken. It is akin to grading an exam, swapping papers with a partner. We tend to see other people's exams as either unequivocally right or wrong, while our own papers reside in the gray area—partial points for coming close to the correct answer.

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Trauma does not necessarily make us stronger, but it grants us a diverse outlook and perspective on life that would otherwise be absent. It enables us not just to sympathize but to empathize with others who have endured similar experiences. It also teaches us that certain traumas cannot be fully healed until we encounter events that lead us to the answers we seek. Recognizing this ongoing process of discovery is essential; it allows us to embrace the journey of figuring it all out.

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In the tapestry of our memories, trauma leaves scars. Yet, these scars need not define us or restrict our potential for growth. By acknowledging and addressing unavoidable and self-inflicted traumas, we embark on a path toward healing. We learn to appreciate the transformative power of empathy, and we find solace in knowing that our journey of self-discovery continues, fueled by time, experience, and the unwavering human spirit.